mike brown, downtown, part 1

oh the wonder of it, i have a digi-voice again!

the past four months are past, and it’s time to “renew the blog”.

HERE’S how i’m going to pump some life back into this mother fucking blog:

mike brown

our mike brown. mike brown, son of paul brown, son of jim brown, son of tim brown, son of mike brown, and relative of other sundry brown people.

since february, living in the snail shell that is my life apart from mahketewah hall, i thought exotically and exclusively about mike brown (our mike brown).

really i just wrote a paper for school about him a couple weeks ago, but for those 48 hours i was writing, mike brown was my all and my everything (so you say: really all i’m doing is recycling a school paper for a blog post – but i like to think that i saved the good shit for all of you. masticate i say and it’ll be better than before! [because serrrrrrrrriously it was a quick-hit 15 pager, and served a little on the raw side, so this’ll be good for it {i mean you (i mean us)}])

(please listen to me i promise this will be a beneficial dirty dancing-style thought exercise for you about cincinnati)

let’s look at the facts of mike brown’s life.

A MIKE BROWN LIFE (this is a character sketch of the fictional and public mike brown, i can’t claim to know the real mike brown [uuuuuuuhhhhh actually i think he’s full of rot, and i profess to judge]):


HE WAS NO ONE or practically no one until 1991 when paul brown died. consider, he graduated from dartmouth in 1957! is this possible? this means he was professionally active somewhere from 1957 to 1991. the bengals didn’t even exist until 1968. what the hell was he doing? there is an paul brown anecdote, after he hit the eject button in cleveland,  about how antsy a sedate life in the mid-1960s made him. he loved playing golf all day and driving in circles on the freeway, but “gosh golly i’m just a worker” etc. that kind of thing, flexing his work ethic [to reach this status of personhood would be amazing, where you ain’t working and you got lots of loot, and everyone is still like, that dude is itching to get to work. yes indeed.] anyway, i bring up this paul brown story to show how impossibly non-mike brown this story is. this story has to be mike brown bereft because mike simply could not be lolling around with his dad on the golf course too, having accomplished nothing that he, mike brown extraordinaire, can rest his haunches on. mike brown, son of superhero paul brown, can’t exist until paul brown dies. i’m sure he got press coverage, but i’d also guess that 99% of printed material on mike brown is post-1991, and that the number of people who know whether mike brown ever worked another job in his life (especially during his dad’s inter-NFL years of the 1960s) is very few. this is all to say that mike brown we know exists from 1991 until the present and is totally constituted by his job. no bengals no mike brown. so that’s that.

AT THE CONTINUATION: we’ll start the post-1991 mike brown


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